How are you?
I am going to mess my heart and soul again with this issue.
Actually it bothers me to have to write because I really liked that this issue was already done for me long ago, and it must be for you. Incidentally, it should be long ago closed to me given your behavior.
No doubt you will be very successful in your professional life, all the effort you are doing now, at the right time, will be duly rewarded; you're very smart, dedicated, a super worker, everything has to be well done; in short, you have all characteristics for being successful , what I always told you and wanted you for you. Always gave you my full support.
I believe that everything in life happens for a reason and our brief meeting and affair served me, I now see it, to be very excited and full of expectations (silly me!!! the one thing that I think one should be very careful...) filling so many of my requirements so I to stayed again enchanted and dazzled.
At the time I found incredible your hugs in that far away country, the conversations on skype, the way you looked at me, the things you told me in Italy (how someone could let me go ....) and the fact that I have told you my life so intimate, and felt you so close to me.
Then it served me to see that once again men, in this case men, which may also happen to women, are so different from each other and it's really rare to find someone special, someone from another world.
Unresolved matters cause me anguish and I always try to solve them as soon as possible. You never gave me that opportunity. Although surely you thought you were always decent with me, you were not and you hurt me deeply....
I will again be very honest with you and explain to you clearly, because if not you may not get it and is something that I, as an adult woman, mature and having made everything to make you feel good and treat you well, have to tell you.
I regret not being able to tell you all of this face to face, that would be ideal but you can neve find the time, by skype or by phone .... your degree of occupation is unreasonable.
I also just want to say that : this behavior of yours happened by your emotional immaturity or because you knew not what to do, how to act. In any case I do not deserved it and you were required to have realized that you were hurting me.
When you really want something, you get the time, always!
You never answered to my mails, my sms were answered half the time and the only time you'd present me your new room, you chose to go out for a drink with your cousin from Canada. And then never said anything again.
Never, in months, you were able to have an attitude towards me "to be with me."
You must be very cold to manage this subject so apart and center yourself in your other subjects or I didnt represented to you the same thing that you did for me.
Everything's ok but you had been obliged to tell me after Italy that we'd be weeks without talking, so I could have decided what to do and not keep me hanging on a hope to talk to you or anything else. It was then at this point you were indecent. This is not how things are done.
In fact I gave you several opportunities by writing and by telephone to tell me you did not want me anymore, and you never had the decency and the courage to do so.
That hurts terribly because it keeps people "waiting emotionally" and prolongs the anguish and pain.
I never demanded anything, just a little bit of your precious time, maybe once a week.
Just needed to go talking to you, seeing you by skype, feeling close to you, despite the distance.
Apparently not speaking to me once a week was something impossible to you and that was not that important.
And here's what is: I do not believe, but ok; but your obligation was having told me the truth, how things should really work.
I'm sure that you would like to have been treated with the same kind of respect, if it was the case.
Whenever we talked, it was always about everything at will, incidentally, one of the things I loved a lot, and it hurts me deeply that you didnt have the decency to tell me the truth, what you felt, or if you did think there was any problem, any difficulty between us.
I deserved it, I always treated you the best I could, I was always super proud of your professional achievements and I never interfered.
And so our matter is closed. Let me tell you that is not easy finding someone that really cares for us, that misses you so much, that could love you in fact.
I do not know what kind of woman do you searche, surely you will find someone or maybe you'll find someone who treats you like you treated me. The law of return helps the universe with that.
Then you may perceive what i said now, because after all I think you'll continue to find that you acted well, not having the notion that you hurted me because of being so focused on you and giving full priority to other things, thinking that what you did was natural.
Now my soul is empty of everything that was hurting me and I feel so much lighter.
The Scientist - Coldplay